We Already Have 13 to 15 Children!!

So, within the first three weeks of our marriage, we're in charge of about 13 to 15 children. Annette suggested earlier that she wanted to be called to the nursery and boy did she nail it. We got called in to the bishop's office and I told him that we'd LOVE to be called to be the Ward Jesters. He laughed and then said he was looking for a couple so spiritually strong and wonderful that we didn't perhaps need traditional church meetings to stay an active couple. After such flattery, how could we turn down the calling of Nursery Couple? The hard part about this is that we are going to have to learn how to pry parents away from their children. We've been told that some parents just can't BARE the thought of leaving their kids. I'm going to find out if the nursery has a budget so I can buy a crowbar to separate parents from children and so that I can knock myself out if things get too ugly. Annette is already excited to form a Potty Train. A potty train is a lot of little kids that all magically decide they need to go to the bathroom at the same time so you line them up in a train and fold their little arms and walk quietly (if that's even possible) to the bathroom. What happens in the bathroom is beyond me and hopefully stays in the bathroom. Our first big challenge: find out where the nursery is.

Annette has already made two loaves of homemade bread!! We bought a bread maker because she wanted one. I always made it in the oven, but she's already cranked out two loaves in the maker so I'm not going to complain! The first one was a cinnamon swirl bread that was reminiscent of cinnamon rolls and the second was French Bread even though we forgot to shape it so it looked like uncooked dough. They were amazing!

BYU FOOTBALL IS COMING SOON AND WE HAVE OUR TICKETS!!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited? We're going to have an undefeated season this year simply due to the fact that the stars and planets have aligned so well that even Charles found the Most Perfect Woman to marry. How can we not win all our games?

I'm sick. I've been sick for a while. But it's a weird sick. I think I might have something really screwed up inside of me. I have a fever, but it's not a normal fever. It's lasted twice as long as a normal fever and it's STILL not gone. Annette hasn't caught it so I'm even tempted to believe that it's not from a virus. Another reason I think it might not be from a virus is that there are NO other normal fever-related symptoms with it like coughing, nasal congestion, etc. The ONLY symptom I have is a gnarly headache and I NEVER get headaches...ever. So, I think I'm suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning since my headache started last Thursday when I took a nap in my car with it running because it was so hot outside I wanted to cool it down. Or maybe it's some other poisoning. I don't know. Maybe I have a little alien inside of me wreaking havoc. Annette has taken care of me very well and shouldn't take it personally that I haven't healed yet. I'm so glad that I have no health insurance with Klune and just got kicked off of Medicaid. Hopefully I'll join Annette on BYU's Student Health Plan soon.

We have cups. Annette counted our cups and estimates that there are more cups in our cupboards than there are ACLU lawsuits. We think we have over 50 cups; it could be around 60 though. We think that maybe they're reproducing at night. By the time you have read this, we think that we'll have around 100 cups. If you need any cups, we might be able to help you out. Our neighbors will probably hear random glasses shattering and shouts of "Mazel Tov" coming from our apartment as we celebrate our marriage in Jewish tradition over and over again.

My dear sweet wife has started spending lots of time in the glorious reading of Eric Snider's books. She found my books while she was unpacking, started reading, and has been reading now for a week straight. I've tried to get her to at least eat, sleep, and shower, but she just won't. She keeps reading. She reads out loud to me while I'm in the shower. She brings the book in the car and reads to me while I'm driving. I'm surprised she doesn't read to me while I'm sleeping. He is funny. He's possibly the best humor columnist that BYU has ever produced. You know a good humor columnist by the amount of angry letters they get and he gets A LOT! If you ever want a copy of the book, let us know and we'll get you one for your birthday or something. His books are called Eric Snider: Snide Remarks, and Eric Snider: Snide Remarks II The Electric Boogaloo.

That's all for now folks :)